You’re not a fearful person and anxiety isn’t your thing, so why do you worry sometimes that your sexual performance in the bedroom may not be up to your partner’s expectations? First things first, you are not alone. In my hormone management and sexual health clinic I visit with men and women every day that struggle to some degree with a preoccupation related to performance in the bedroom. And believe it or not, it’s often couples who have a solid relationship or who have been together for a long period of time.
Typically the worry men feel begins after a prior unsuccessful sexual encounter. Maybe you and your partner were able to have sex, but things were just a little off. Maybe you were unable to have sex at all. Now, as a man you begin the reel of thoughts in your mind.
Will it happen again?
Will it be worse next time?
Is there something wrong with me?
Will she think I’m not attracted to her?
Meanwhile, your wife may be running through a completely different line of reasoning.
Am I not pretty enough?
Is he not attracted to me?
Am I too fat?
Is there another woman?
While it’s easy to make the issues personal and blame yourself or your partner, understanding the source of the anxiety can help resolve the stress. More importantly, understanding that your thoughts directly affect your sexual performance can give you the advantage you need for future success.
The reasons for sexual dysfunction in men are numerous and often multifactorial. Change in sexual function and quality and firmness of erections can diminish with age, so your difficulties may have a root cause that needs to be addressed. Regardless, the problem will become worse with anxiety and fear consuming your thoughts.
I’m not talking about generalized anxiety, but rather a fear that things won’t go as you hope, a specific sexual performance anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle. This negative self-talk has a direct impact on your ability to have a good sexual encounter. Fear often begets a lackluster erection.
So what’s a guy to do? Relax. I know that is often much easier said than done. Know that a one time or sometimes inability to have the erection you desire doesn’t mean it will be that way every time. Remember, the term erectile dysfunction (ED) can be used on a continuum to describe the quality of your erections ranging from a one-time issue to an ongoing inability to have the sex you desire. A variety of physical, lifestyle and psychological factors play a role in ED and at AgeWell we work to find and address the root cause of whatever it is that is troubling you and to alleviate your sexual performance anxiety.
If you are concerned about the quality of your sexual relationship or simply want to perform better with your partner, contact AgeWell to learn more about our regenerative technologies to improve your sexual health at 806-683-6813.