18 Jul God’s Purpose for Sex
It seems as if every time we turn around, someone is using sex to entice, sell, and convince. Television ads, social media sites, web pages, and even the mall bombard us with barely dressed men and women and, in the process, cheapen what is meant for so much more than just advertising. Things haven’t always been this way. I’m a child of the 70s and I remember a time when I could watch a television show and never see a commercial with a provocative woman trying to sell me chips or my parents’ beer. I never saw a couple sharing bathtubs on the lawn and leaving me to wonder what little blue pills were used for. I doubt my kids will be able to say the same. The media has flooded their lives with sexuality.
Sex is sensationalized and made to be mundane. Unhealthy sex has become an accepted social norm and godly, healthy sex has been lost in the mix. If God created us with the desire for physical intimacy, what are we to do with all the hype? We must stay focused on what God says about his purpose for sex. If we follow his will for our lives, we can cherish our spouse and relish a sexual relationship rather than run or hide from it.
Isn’t sex just for having babies?
It’s true, in the book of genesis, God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. But he didn’t stop there. The Bible is clear on the joy of sex beyond procreation. Not only are we able to have sex with our spouse, but we should also enjoy it. In the Song of Solomon, we have an entire book dedicated to the pleasures of intimacy shared between a husband and a wife. In the New Testament, Paul reminds us not to deprive our spouses of our bodies but to share them openly with one another.
So, you see, sex is for more than babies.
Intimacy is much more than the physical encounter between a husband and wife. It’s also designed to bring a man and a woman closer together at all times. Of all species, only a human female can experience orgasm. All other animals are drawn into sexual relations only when the female is fertile and able to reproduce. This makes us unique in God’s creation and points to his perfect design for sex in marriage.
Sex with our spouse is intended to create a connection. The bond that forms between a husband and wife should provide comfort, peace, and security in our relationship. Lovemaking is about romance AND play, it’s about deep connection AND fun, and it’s about desire AND commitment.
Talking about sex is embarrassing
The irony of the world we live in today is that we have sensationalized sex into something cheap and meaningless, yet we are afraid to have candid, honest conversations about our sex lives.
Married couples tend to hide their sexuality while singles flaunt it. There is a glaring misconception that sex is taboo and not to be talked about, especially at church. We need to remember one thing though—sex brings us closer to our spouse which, in turn, should bring us closer to God. Sex can be the piece that connects our souls on a deeper level reminding us of our deep longing for God. This spiritual aspect of sex is often overlooked but can be the key to reconnecting in your marriage. When God is placed at the center and couples grow in their love commitment, the holiness of sex creates a shared physical and spiritual intimacy that ties couples together in the most meaningful ways.
I don’t want to have sex
Lack of fulfillment in a couple’s sex life often leads to giant cracks in the foundation of a marriage. One partner is ready when the other is not. One is tired when the other is full of energy. One is physically struggling and feels embarrassed to share their body while the other honestly doesn’t notice or mind. The list goes on, but we create endless reasons to avoid having sex and, in the process, we disconnect from our spouses. When the bond and connection of lovemaking is missing, the lack of physical intimacy can lead to a lack of spiritual intimacy.
You are not alone if you are not as interested in sex as you once were. The slow fade away from our spouse often begins in the bedroom. Hormonal decline as we age creates changes in our bodies for which we may not be prepared. Both men and women may blame themselves or blame their partners when really, it’s simply biology gone awry. At AgeWell we are here to help you navigate your changing sex life that comes with aging. Our mission includes helping couples live their best lives NOW by getting to the root causes of sexual dysfunction. We know you long to connect again—we are here to help.